By November 2009, after over a year of living in Germany (with a lifelong soccer fan), I was more or less pretty up-to-date with what was going on in the German soccer world.  I certainly knew that Robert Enke was the star goalie for Hannover 96, which is mein Schatz‘s home team.  His pint-sized soccer-obsessed godson in Hannover had even managed to have his photo taken with Enke, which was blown up and proudly hanging over the little one’s bed.  I also knew that Robert Enke was the leading contender for the number one goalie position for the German national team in the 2010 World Cup.

And so like everyone who heard the news of his suicide on November 10, I was shocked and saddened and just could not understand how someone living in the limelight would be able to hide his terrible suffering from depression from almost everyone he knew.

I guess that’s the reason I decided to read Ronald Reng‘s biography of Robert Enke’s life.  I was originally skeptical of how in-depth such a biography could go in offering insights, but I soon discovered that the biographer and Robert were friends and were planning together “one day” to write a book about his life.  To that end, Robert kept detailed notes, even during his darkest periods.  Using these notes and conducting countless interviews, Reng wrote an honest and moving biography in cooperation with Robert’s widow, Teresa.

Before reading Ein allzu kurzes Leben, I — like probably many people — had only a very vague understanding of what suffering from depression must be like.  But Robert’s life story makes it crystal clear that the illness is very real– sometimes appearing unannounced and relentlessly hovering over you like a dark cloud (or following you like a black dog, to use a metaphor described in the book).  Robert suffered from two major depressive episodes in his life, which seemed related to uncertainties and difficult times in his career, but it wasn’t always so easy to predict — he was able to grieve the death of his baby daughter from a heart defect just as any parent would, which did not trigger a depressive episode.  His depression wasn’t something you could logically “figure out” and thereby make it better.

The biography also goes into great detail on the world of German soccer, particularly the unique burdens born by anyone playing goalie.  I didn’t expect to be so captivated by that aspect of Robert’s life, but it fascinated me nonetheless.

In reading his story, you will find yourself cheering him on after he recovers from his first depressive period, and hoping-against-hope that he will manage to break out of the last one.  In short, it will break your heart.  But you will walk away with a better awareness of what depression looks like and how it manifests itself, even among those who are successful in hiding it from the world.

P.S. It seems the book will also available in English as of October 2011, under the title A Life Too Short: The Story of Robert Enke.