She Kinda Missed This When the Family Moved to Boise, Though

Hasidic man offering out a lulav: Are you a Jew? Are you a Jew?
Girl, running away: Yes, but I don’t want to!

–West 4th & Broadway

But Who Cares about the Golden Globes?

Buddy #1: Did you see Forest Whitaker’s speech at the Golden Globes? He won Best Actor. I’m almost positive he was on crystal meth. He was, like, stuttering and his eyes were tearing up.
Buddy #2: Maybe he was emotional ’cause he won the award.
Buddy #1: [Long, reflective pause] Yeah… Maybe that, too.

–East 40th & 5th Ave

Can’t We Stop This Madness and Do Meth Like Usual?

Dude leaving bathroom: Man, I really want some popcorn.
Man at bar stool: What, baby? You want some poppers?