I have been feeling a little down on myself lately, trying to figure out what the heck it is I should be doing with my fellowship this year.  So so so many possibilities, and so little time to narrow it down, put it into action, and have it be relevant to anyone besides myself.  I wasn’t expecting to stay in the “preparatory” phase for this long, but after speaking today with one of my primary contacts, it seems like I might need to abandon my original timeline and instead just spend some (more) time throwing my ideas out there and getting feedback from various key players.  I need to let go of some of my expectations for what this year “should” be, and instead just try to learn from it as much I can, even if that looks totally different from what I planned.

I am trying to keep it in all in perspective, especially since so many people in the blogosphere seem to be suffering from some of life’s great heartaches right now (seriously, what is going on in the world?).  It is definitely frustrating and stressful for me, but certainly not the end of the world.

So I will try a little retail therapy tomorrow.  (What else is a girl to do while her sweetheart is away in Berlin for the weekend?)  And if that doesn’t work, maybe go for a run.  Or maybe even get caught up the latest episodes of the Amazing Race on YouTube.  (Yes, it’s an addiction.)

And breathe a little bit and hope that it all looks a little bit better by Monday.