In the spirit of the holidays, I would like to share this little Denglish Christmas poem, found by a colleague of mine in our Sozialraum. It should please even the rustiest of German speakers, especially for its awesome use of German grammar in English:

When the snow falls wunderbar,
and the children happy are.
When the Glatteis on the street,
and we all a Glühwein need.
Then you know, es ist soweit.
She is here, the Weihnachtszeit.

Every Parkhaus is besetzt,
weil die people fahren jetzt.
All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt,
kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt.
Shoppen hirnverbrannte things,
and the Christmasglocke rings.

Mother in the kitchen bakes,
Schoko-, Nuss-, and Mandelkeks.
Daddy in the Nebenraum,
Schmücks a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum.
He is hanging off the balls,
then he from the Leiter falls.

Finally the Kinderlein,
to the Zimmer kommen rein.
And it sings the family
schauerlich: “Oh Christmas tree!”
And then jeder in the house,
is packing the Geschenke aus.

Mama finds under the Tanne,
eine brandnew Telfon-Pfanne.
Papa gets a Schlips and Socken,
everybody does frohlocken,
President speaks on TV,
all around is Harmonie.

Bis mother in the kitchen runs,
im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans.
And so comes die Feuerwehr,
With Tatü, tata daher.
And they bring a long, long Schlauch,
and a long, long Leiter auch.
And they schrei – “Wasser marsch!”
Christmas now is in the Arsch.