How English Became the Universal Language: Fatigue

NYU bimbette #1: Why is it called ‘Deutschland’ if the people there aren’t Dutch?

NYU bimbette #2: Because the German name for Germany is ‘Deutschland.’

NYU bimbette #1: Oh… So, then… why don’t they just call it ‘Germany’?

–Washington Square Park, Jan 19, 2007

The Trains Ran One-way in Germany, Too

American girl: Yeah, the subway runs express out of Astoria and local into Astoria. It wouldn’t make sense any other way. See all the people on the train?

German guy: Why would it only run express one way?

American girl: You’re not from here, I don’t expect you to understand.

–N train, Jan 26, 2006

How About “We Don’t Try to Conquer Europe”?

German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?

–Carroll Gardens, Jul 30, 2004